August 11, 2020
What day of the week is it? They all tend to blur together now. Let me check my calendar. Oh, it’s Tuesday, and my day is wide open. Again. I look at my dog, and he looks back at me. Maybe we could go for another walk? Never mind; it’s 92° outside.
Here we are in the middle of August 2020. I’m fairly confident that just 4 to 6 months ago, none of us could have expected or predicted the current set of circumstances in which we are living. Shelter in place and quarantine are now commonplace terms and accurate visual descriptors of today's present environment.
I don’t know about you, but the monotony can be a bit much some days. I’ve tried to maintain a sense of routine and order in my life, but I’m beginning to remind myself of my grandmother. As soon as I clean up my breakfast dishes, I am pondering what to have for lunch. As soon as lunch is over, what to make for dinner? After dinner, I start drafting a list of possible menu ideas for tomorrow.
Everyone has felt the effects of the pandemic in some way. Financial concerns, isolation, health issues, canceled vacations and weddings, fears of contracting COVID, economic impacts, living with family 24/7, parenting and working from home – all are just a few of the myriad of issues emerging with this pandemic, many of which spark increased levels of stress and worry.
By it’s very nature, Parkinson’s alone is stressful. Having said that, I’ve discovered that extra stress, beyond that associated with Parkinson’s, further exacerbates my symptoms. I first became aware of this correlation during vacations or trips involving travel. I have always had problems with my balance, so a crowded airport of people stopping unexpectedly to look at monitors represents a fall waiting to happen for me. My body does not like abrupt stops. I realized I would spend the entire drive to the airport focusing on how I was going to navigate the obstacle course of airport foot traffic. This anticipatory stress and anxiety would then leave me barely able to stand upon arrival at the airport, which then meant we would have to commandeer a wheelchair. It took me a long time to recognize that I alone was unknowingly ramping up my stress levels to a point that made me unable to walk.
Added stressors also contribute to increased odds of developing diabetes, because stress induces the body to release cortisol. Known as the stress hormone, cortisol is a life-saving support mechanism that helps one to escape potentially dangerous situations by increasing the heart rate and available energy. Continual stress, however, can lead to elevated cortisol levels, which over a period of time, can raise blood sugars and cause diabetes or result in heart disease, anxiety, or depression.
My body is trying it’s hardest to become diabetic right now, even though I hardly need additional health problems. When my blood sugars run high, my Parkinson’s symptoms worsen as well.
So here I am, 5 months into the COVID pandemic with stress coming at me from all angles. With stress as my adversary, I have been contemplating how best to keep it at bay. Ultimately, I have embraced my inner grandma. Although I have no grandchildren (my daughters range in age from 18 to 26), I am noticing many of my behaviors mimic those of my grandparent’s.
Much to my surprise, I have discovered I can sew and rather enjoy it. My mom and grandmother could sew anything, but sewing was always like a foreign language to me. Nevertheless, when face masks became a necessity last spring and none were available, I pulled out my sewing machine and started experimenting. I found a pattern online for the Olson Face Mask, particularly appropriate given my last name, and went to work. After two failed attempts, my third effort was a success. My family now has face masks in every color possible. I have also fashioned a quilted seat cushion for my stationary bike and just made curtains for my garage windows.
Home cooking is steeped in tradition in my family. My mom even complied a 700-page cookbook of favorite recipes that span five generations, but are mostly not diabetic-friendly. My other grandmother, though, made her own yogurt, and whole grain breads, and took us out for Orange Julius smoothies as a treat. Her papaya digestive enzymes tablets were probably the best tasting food in her house. Now, however, I am starting to appreciate the wisdom of her food choices and often spend a significant amount of time combing the internet for recipes that my family will like and my pre-diabetic body will tolerate. Some dinners have been epic failures, while others, such as the pork carnitas, have been a huge success. Ironically, protein smoothies have become a staple of my diet as well.
Exercise is also a must for my mental and physical health. I have fond childhood memories of walking with my grandfather. No matter what the weather, going outside to walk at least 4 times a day was a priority for him. His long legs and brisk pace required me to take 2 or 3 steps for each of his. I have no recollection of how far we used to walk, but he and I maintained our partnered walking through my senior year in high school when he helped me deliver newspapers on the paper route I maintained for 2 years. These wonderful memories take me back to a time when I felt safe and had not a care in the world. I viewed these walks as opportunities to spend time alone with this quiet, introverted man, completely unaware that he was instilling in me the importance of fresh air and regular exercise. – ideals that I still carry today. My dog is now my motivation to get outside and walk twice per day, though his legs are much shorter and he stops to sniff every mailbox, which makes for a much slower pace.
I also try to use spend my stationary bike for 25 to 30 minutes a day. My health food conscious grandmother had a stationary bike long before they were considered trendy. As a kid, I thought riding a stationary bike was great fun. As an adult, though, riding a stationary bike is one of the most mundane, monotonous activities I can think of, but it gets my heart rate up and, helps to lessen some of my Parkinson’s symptoms, while also bringing down my blood sugar.
With our youngest heading off to college next month, I have been going through the house, taking inventory, and assessing the need of each item we own. Having determined we really don’t need much of what we have, I have started selling, donating, and giving away the excess. Who knew purging could be so liberating? I only throw out items that can’t be salvaged or used by someone else. I am ready for a simpler life, with fewer belongings.
When COVID hit last March, our twins moved back home from college, bringing 5 of us back together 24/7. It hasn’t been ideal for them, but I have enjoyed the opportunity for this extra time with my daughters, whose creativity throughout this period of isolation has been inspiring. We’ve had many family lunches and dinners and enjoyed countless hours of board games. We also dusted off our Rock Band instruments and have become quite proficient playing “Crazy Train” at the expert level. We have even had a PowerPoint Party for which each of us created a secret presentation that a different person then presented to the group without advance preparation. With heckling and questions from the audience adding to the fun, topics ranged from internet stars, squash (the vegetable) and socks, to car oil changes, RNA, and even the benefits of recycled toilet paper. I would definitely support repeating this endeavor with new topics. We even scrounged around the house to find painting supplies and then spent an evening painting a footbridge outdoor scene after watching a Bob Ross tutorial on YouTube. What took Bob 25 minutes to paint took each of us an hour and a half. But, in sufficiently dim lighting, the evergreen trees in our paintings do resemble actual trees. Though we are not accomplished painters, we had a fabulous time. As we painted, we repeatedly quoted Bob Ross, “There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.” All of these activities offered a break from the reality happening outside our house and gave us an opportunity to laugh, relax, and enjoy each other’s company.
I have spoken with so many people experiencing stress and anxiety due to feeling a loss of control over life now. I guess this aspect of the pandemic has been less bothersome to me. Because Parkinson’s is highly unpredictable, I never know what each day will bring. So in that regard, I fully understand the feeling of having no control over my life.
But living with Parkinson’s is all about adapting to life in an undependable body. As I reflect upon the last 5 months, I have noticed myself easing into a slower, simpler life, relying on the legacy of my grandparent’s wisdom. At the same time, I have benefitted from the technology, knowledge, and ingenuity of my daughters by challenging myself to learn and participate in new experiences.
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